Do You Need a Judgment Detox?


Getty/Natalia Mantini

Internet trolls. Polarizing comments on Facebook. The woman moving too slowly in line. Feeling annoyed after leaving brunch with your girlfriends. When your partner doesn’t respond the way you want him or her to. According to celebrity life coach Gabby Bernstein, we’re always judging each other.

In her latest book, Judgment Detox ($17), she opens by sharing an admission I can relate to: We’re all pretty damn judgmental these days.

“I struggle with judgment every day,” Bernstein writes. “I judge far and I judge wide.” After chatting with her via phone about this topic, I learned it took her four to five months of self-work to come out on the other side feeling judgment-free, happier, and primed with the tools to help her (and you!) deal with judgment on a daily basis.

To clarify, judgment is a cycle, according to Bernstein. Often, it is a projection of our own pain and insecurities. We feel judged, so we judge back. No one in that orbit is at peace, and it’s up to each of us to get off of the toxic merry-go-round.

“To break any pattern, you have to replace it with a new one,” Bernstein says. “The book is effective because it gives you a new pattern and changes your perception.”

To do this, she maps out a six-step plan to success, which combines enlightened self-awareness, journaling, meditating, and more to help you release your judgments. The spirit guru believes the only antidote to judgment is love. While it might seem new age-y, it might also be the only thing can get us out of these negative judgment cycles. And if the journey leads to a friendlier social life and a clearer head, isn’t it worth it?

Below Bernstein reveals how to open your heart and literally love people instead of judging them.