I Ordered 7 of the Chicest New Vibrators on the Internet—Here Are My Reviews

Recent studies show that masturbation is on the rise, especially among women. A viral article from The Atlantic last year revealed that while millennials and Gen Z-ers are having less sex than previous generations, masturbation rates all over the world are increasing. From 1992 to 2014, the percentage of women who reported masturbating in a given week more than tripled to 26%. The vibrator industry has something to do with that: a substantial study from the late 2010s found that a little over half of adult women had used one, and those figures are only increasing. This is mostly due to easier access to vibrators (thanks, Amazon!), as well as the production of more effective, cleverer, and chicer models.

I count myself among these newer vibrator connoisseurs. Even 10 years ago, when you had to go to an adult toy store to buy one and they all looked so flashy and overwhelming, vibrators intimidated me. But as taboos surrounding masturbation slowly soften and more female-owned and -invented, cool, hip sex-toy brands hit the market, I've come around. Like, way around. To help you, dear readers, on your journey to aesthetically pleasing self-administered orgasms, I found the seven chicest vibrators on the internet and spent a very entertaining couple of weeks reviewing them. Keep scrolling to find the one that suits your fancy.

This modern, unassuming (and affordable) little wand looks more like a remote for some Apple device than an orgasm machine, but dear goddess is it effective (and fast). The product was launched just last year by young entrepreneurs Éva Goicochea and Dina Epstein, who once worked in fashion and sex toys, respectively. Naturally, Maude is their naughty, Instagram-worthy brainchild.

But onto the important stuff: Place this silicone teardrop on your clit (you could totally use it internally too, if that's your thing, though I didn't), and its powerful three-speed motor will cause an orgasm to almost sneak up on you out of nowhere. Great for those in a hurry! It conveniently charges via USB, and a full charge lasts two and a half hours (which amounts to about 50 orgasms per charge—it's that fast). The product is waterproof, free of phthalates and latex, and teeny enough to fit in your purse or toiletry case for cumming on the go.

Overall score: /

My favorite kind of vibrator is the sort that has a little nozzle at the top which creates a vacuum seal around your clit, causing stimulation through intense pulses of air. That's exactly what this bad boy (or girl—we won't gender the vibrator) does and so much more. A fancy masturbation experience comes with a fancy price tag: Shell out $200 for the Womanizer Premium, and you can expect a black-and-gold device made from velvety-soft, top-tier silicone. Technologically, it comes with all the bells and whistles: a whopping 12 speed settings (perfect for sensitive clits!); a Smart Silence feature, which makes the toy turn on and off automatically according to whether or not it's in contact with the body; and an Auto Pilot setting if you want to relinquish control of speeds to the device and relish in a longer, more delightfully torturous pleasure sesh.

Overall score: /

It looks like a Beautyblender, but it's definitely not. This adorable, egg-size, very pink vibe is not made of hard silicone. Instead, it's squishy. The harder you squish, the more intense the vibrations. (There are five intensities in all.) You can also custom-program the device by squeezing a certain pattern, which it will save and play back to you. The product is cute and fun for everyone involved. I'd recommend using it with a partner as foreplay. Personally, I didn't get off to this device, though that's just my body and taste. I know plenty of people do, especially those who are more sensitive. It charges via USB in a convenient little station, which you can keep on your bedside table and look perfectly innocent.

Overall score: /

A more affordable device that also uses those waves of suction I like so much, Lelo's eight-mode device, which fits just oh so nicely in the hand, is not for beginners. I repeat! If you are just warming up to vibrators, this thing might give you clit a stroke. For me, it was perfect. It comes in three colors, charges via USB, and most importantly, leads to consistent powerful O's at a decent price.

Overall score: /

This delicate seashell of a vibrator really belongs in an art museum. The main draw is undoubtedly its mesmerizing Japanese-designed aesthetic. It even comes in a dignified clear display case, like any precious object would. But unlike a real seashell, the ribbed Kushi is super squishable, like Unbound's toy, and boasts five speeds and two vibration patterns.

Ultimately though, the Kushi is like the one night stand of vibrators—gorgeous to look at, fun to play with, but not the most effective at getting you off. It also takes two full hours to charge by USB and only lasts an hour. But my gosh is it pretty.

Overall score: /

Well, the trophy for great branding certainly goes to this ridiculously clever vibe, marketed as "a French kiss down there." The toy is meant to simulate the IRL experience of oral sex—just lube up the soft and flexible tongue, pop in a AAA battery, adjust the four vibrating speeds and two pulsation modes to your liking, and stroke however you please. Now, the physical action of this vibe was new for me, and after one try, I don't think I've quite figured out how to make the faux-tongue experience work for my body as well as, say, the Womanizer or even Maude, but I'm willing to continue putting in the work. 

Overall score: /

I'll cut right to the chase: Considering the low price, 11 speed settings, long-lasting charge, and straight-up plaisir, this quiet silicone device (which I think looks curiously like a Clarisonic face brush) is probably my favorite of the bunch. Inducing orgasms using that same sonic wave suction technology as the Womanizer and Sona, this little treasure's cost-per-orgasm ratio is satisfying indeed. It may not be quite as worthy of public display as some of the other gorgeous devices on this list, but if you're after powerful, fun, and economical climaxes, I highly recommend. 

Overall score: /

 

Do you have a favorite vibrator I didn't review here? DM me your recommendations at @amanda_montell!